I'm eating all of the evidence.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
