I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize