batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
