lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
