I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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