Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We left the knife in your bed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize