just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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