why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
