I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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