will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
