I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
