Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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