Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
