Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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