dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
