moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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