I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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