May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
