my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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