When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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