um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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