We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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