Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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