he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
