you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
