You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
