I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ugly people sure do ruin things
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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