the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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