Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
