Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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