wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Randomize
