You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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