They should really pass out barf bags in church
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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