u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize