When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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