Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
