then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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