I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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