I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
