real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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