If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
