apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize