imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
