is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
