My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
