She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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