Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize