9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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