So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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