I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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