He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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