you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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