So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
