Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
