Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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