am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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