i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
