He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
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Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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