she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
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Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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